They say that in order for a couple to make it, they need to have two things right: chemistry and timing. The main reasons why so many romantic comedies end with the couple getting together is the fact that this is the point where they actually manage to coordinate between these two factors. What comes next, however, is a topic that often goes unexplored.
On the other hand, back in the real world, the divorce rate in the world is at its all-time high, while the profession of a couple’s counselor never looked more lucrative. The reason behind this is simple, in order to have a successful marriage one needs much more than chemistry followed up with an occasional romantic gesture. In order to pull it off, one needs all the willpower and dedication they can muster.
Sure, this may seem a bit pessimistic but what you get for all of this hard work is always more than worth it. With this in mind, here’s what some of the most widely renowned family lawyers say about methods and techniques of getting your happily ever after.
Being right is not the most important thing in the world
Seeing as how the person you are living with is not your business associate but your spouse, things will never be looked at with 100 percent objectivity. Keep in mind that this goes both ways, which means that even when you are absolutely convinced you are right, this still might just be a matter of perspective. The key to avoiding the most bitter and harmful of arguments lies in the realization that being right is not all.
Knowing when to draw the line
Now, this next piece of advice is a vital follow-up of a previous one. Sure, being right is not the most important thing in the world but constantly being the side that gives in can be equally as harmful. In order for love to work in the long-term, both parties need to have a certain dosage of respect for each other.
Nothing can lose you this respect easier than being seen as a pushover by your partner. According to the local family lawyers we spoke with on this subject, each partner has its own rights, entitlements, and obligations, in marriage and outside of it. In order for your marriage to work, this has to be acknowledged and respected by both parties.
Finding a scapegoat is not a real solution
When something goes wrong in your marriage, the single worst thing you can do is look for a scapegoat. You see, the two of you live in the community now, which means that every turmoil that occurs hurts both of you. The fact that you didn’t cause the problem at hand won’t take away its sting. This is why you should always focus on looking for a solution instead.
Set boundaries with other people
One test where most couples fail is failing to set clear boundaries with other people. Of course, you should love and respect your parents, friends, neighbors, and coworkers but their access to your marital life needs to be restricted from the very start. Any issue needs to be resolved between the two of you first. Failure to do so will eventually always lead to more serious problems.
Be careful about what you say
Ideally, you would always speak your mind in front of your partner but this practice is not necessarily something that can will benefit your marriage. In the heat of the argument, you might sometimes say something rash and stupid, something you ultimately don’t even mean but can’t take back once it is spoken. This is why the key to successful marriage often lies in knowing how to keep your mouth shut.
Speak your mind on important matters
Perhaps the single greatest mistake people make is expecting others to be able to read their minds. This makes people create false contracts in their heads – if I do this, then my partner will… In reality, things don’t work this way and if you want your partner to act in a certain way, you have to tell them. Even if you’ve known each other for more than a decade, don’t expect them to know every single thought that crosses your mind.
Find some ‘me’ time
Some people assume that once you get married, ‘me’ gets replaced with ‘us’. This is definitely not a good practice and can eventually lead to a whole world of trouble. By giving up your own privacy and avoiding things that make you happy, you might become dissatisfied with the direction in which your life is going. Once this happens, you might turn the blame for this towards your spouse, even if they never explicitly asked you to give up any of these things. The happier you are as a person, the better you are as a spouse.
Adhering to just these seven principles can ensure that your marriage is off to a much better start than it would have been otherwise. Still, there is no such thing as a recipe for a successful marriage. The key metric is that you and your partner are content with where things are at the moment and where they seem to be heading in the long-run. When compared to this, all other factors are less significant.